Our New Pet

My daughter has been buggin me for a dog so, on her birthdy, we went to the animal shelter to pick one out. She found one she liked and when we found out he was already an emergency rescue dog, I felt like I had to return the favor somehow. "Thank you, Lincoln, for rescuing all those missing persons. I know your talents, for the most part, weren't utilized on missing children and were mostly wasted on rich skiiers trapped in snow banks. But get in the backseat and have a Snausage big guy."

Turns out he was also one of those dogs that could detect cancer in people. He could actually sniff out cancer in humans, which had to make the doctors feel really stupid. All this advanced cutting edge technology and the best thing you have to detect cancer barks at the microwave and falls for the laser pointer trick every time!! Every time never fails!! You know Pavlov's dogs are rolling in their graves right now. "That damn bell!! I knew it sounded familiar but i never wanted to say anything!!" Dogs are famous on YouTube for being dumb but all they have to do is a little sniff sniff here and there and bam! Cancer.

And this dog greets me at the door every day in normal dog fashion, by sniffing my crotch. Now that I know his expertise it makes me a little nervous. Cause he'll look up at me like "I know this is a no no but I'm a dog. I kinda have to." And I'm like "No no get in there. Have a look see. Figure it out".

I get a free screening every day in the comfort of my own home. And there's no copay. Happy birthday honey.

Jason Thompson